I will write a short version of what is going on between my wife and I to save some time. I possess sexual anxiety and cannot keep it up for my wife. After much time, I suggested she have her sexual freedom to explore her sexual needs. She considered it for awhile and said yes.
In our case, she decides on the man. I do not participate, watch or even hear all the details. In my mind this is for her, not me. The fact that she has a good time tells me already the man was better in bed than I am, so I have no need to see it or hear “all” about it. If she really desires me to know a portion, she does tell me and we do keep the lines of communication open.
Technically, I know that by definition that makes me a cuckold, but is there anything wrong with me not wanting to be a portion of that date or sexual activity? We love each other very much and have no desire to be with anyone else in the long run. I just believe that she should be able to experience great sex, even if it needs to be with another. What do I get out of it? A wife who gets 100% of her needs met, instead of just 90%. And that makes me happy in the long run, that she is content and sexually satisfied.
The realm of cuckolding comes in my different flavors. Some guys love participating, watching and all of that stuff. However just as many don’t participate at all, as is the case with you. So no there’s nothing wrong with you for not wanting to take part in the situation. Every couple is different, just like every cuckold is different. The fact that it works for you two is all that matters.
I so totally relate to you on this having also battled anxiety and ED